Until That Day

It has certainly been a long time since I sat down and wrote out my thoughts. Between chasing a very active baby around, working, and living life, it seems like I have zero time to myself anymore.

I feel like life has been a major journey the last few months, and the train that used to ride smoothly, with maybe a few bumps along the way, has finally derailed.

My mom passed away on October 27th 2017, and since she’s been gone, life as I knew it, has forever changed. She was a wonderful person, tortured on a daily basis by a body that was riddled with sickness. Although we all knew her terminal illness would take her away from us, we never expected it to be so soon.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to approach this issue in writing. I don’t want to sit at this computer and focus on that day, at least not right now, but rather, I want to focus on the happiness my mom brought to my life before that miserable Friday.

Sharon Joan Bozic……where do I start?

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My mom was a beautiful soul, and an equally fantastic mother. She always put others before herself, and loved God, her husband, and children, with every ounce of her being. She wanted nothing more in life, than to spend every moment with her best friend, and husband of 35 years, and loved him more than life itself. She prayed for her family daily, listened to our problems, put up with our tantrums, and could dish out the sass of a thousand divas when pushed over the edge.

A daily fighter, she kept her feisty personality until the the end. She lived a hard life, a life of constant hospital visits, but rarely complained. She dealt with a body that was 10 times its age, but she fought hard, and she continued to have the perseverance of a champion, determined to make every minute count.

I am so glad you aren’t suffering anymore mom, and that you get so spend the rest of your life in peace and happiness, alongside those whom you have lead to Christ, but life sucks without you.

You were the first person I talked to on the phone every morning, you were the last person I talked to on FaceTime before I closed my eyes for the night, and you were the one I worried about every time I opened my eyes in the middle of the night, checking my phone to see if someone had called to tell me you weren’t doing well. Now, I find myself still picking up my phone to call you, but realizing I cannot anymore, and that’s what hurts the most, realizing you will never hear your mom say, “I love you,” anymore.

Momma,

Thank you for being a wonderful human being. Thank you for always being there for me when I needed you. Thank you for showing me how to be a good wife, and mother. I wish you could be here to spend just one more holiday with us, but I am glad you aren’t hurting anymore. I wish I could put my arms around you one more time, because I would never let you go.

Until we see each other again, I love you.

Bug

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Dear Daughter

I’ve never met you, held you in my arms, or kissed your little face, but I love you so much already, that I can’t even imagine what it will be like to actually see you for the first time.

As I sit here typing this message, I am flooded with thoughts of my own mother, and how she must have felt while pregnant with her first baby. The  joy, fears, and all those other wonderful emotions that come along with pregnancy, must have been raging, because they most certainly are for me.

What started as a 5 minute shock session, a pee stick, and two blue lines, has turned into intense anticipation for your arrival, and an overwhelming joy that I have only ever experienced one other time, when I married your daddy.

I’ve watched you grow, and felt your movements, and I must say that although I am so ready to hold you in my arms, I’m going to miss all those moments. Each and every experience, great and rough, has been something I wouldn’t trade for anything else. Pregnancy isn’t easy, but the end result is worth the minor struggles.

As the weeks get closer and closer to your arrival, I’m getting more nervous. I’m not nervous about the responsibility, the finances, or even the stressors of raising a child, I’m nervous about you being happy, safe, and always feeling fulfilled in this crazy life. I want you to know that you can do anything, be anyone/anything, and the world is yours for the taking. I want you to know that no matter how much heartache you might face, there is ALWAYS happiness on the other end. Be brave, courageous, loving, kind, and helpful, and you will always succeed in this life.

I can’t imagine what it will be like to hear you cry for the first time, see you look into my eyes, or even smile, but I know that it’s a feeling I won’t be able to contain, and might not even be able to put into words.

Soon enough, you will be in our arms, and we can all start our new journey together. I know it’s going to be a wonderful theme park adventure, and I’m so thankful for our little blessing..YOU!

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